December 11, 2011 § Leave a comment
Well, I’ve made a decision. I can’t ask my parents for money. Or at least, I shouldn’t and therefore won’t. I’m an adult, dammit! I’m on my own and I should take care of myself, make my own decisions and deal with their consequences. I haven’t yet decided between the other two options, either going back to full-time at work or taking out extra loans. Knowing me though, I’ve got a plan!
1. wait to see what my grades are this semester.
2. talk to my new advisor to see if I’m being considered for the same fellowship again (the one I have now, I mean). If I’m not, I’ll see what my other options are and I’ll ask about deadlines for changing full-time/part-time status.
3. if I am going down to part-time, I’ll need to register for summer courses, I expect, which will ensure that I graduate on time with my class. (while there are few Art History summer courses, if any, there are a few Museum Studies courses I could take. We are allowed to take two courses outside of the department, so I could always do those during the summer since AH isn’t offered. There are even online courses for Museum Studies, haha. SWISH. if they’d let me take one of those….)
4. if I’m not going down to part-time at school, then I’ll need to evaluate how much of a loan I’ll need for next year. I hope I’ll hear the fellowship/scholarship decisions in early May (is that reasonable?) so if I get a fellowship or a scholarship, then maybe it would be okay if I take out a larger loan for living expenses since my tuition loan amount will be lower.
I can say that if I’m not awarded any funding then I’m probably going to go back to full-time at work. It’ll be nice to be able to afford to eat again. Anyway, I can’t decide any of this now, so I’m going into a waiting period for a little while. Like I have time to deal with this as it is — three seminar papers due this week and not a one written! I bit the bullet and asked off work tomorrow and Tuesday, so that should definitely help some. I’m getting pretty fried after working all weekend on one paper, and it’s really frustrating that I still only have 5 full pages written. The other two should be easier, but I still need to do some research for my last paper. Sigh. I’m as irresponsible as ever. I haven’t changed at all when it comes to school work.
I think I have changed in other ways, though. In some ways I’ve really matured. I just wish that came out more often, or that people valued it over my occasional immaturity or brashness. Sometimes I just don’t know what people make of me. And most days, to be honest, I just don’t care. Too tired and pre-occupied to care, I would suspect, but not caring nonetheless.