Update: More Bad News

March 4, 2013 § Leave a comment

Bad news first, right? 

My insurance company denied my tonsillectomy because I can’t prove that my recurring illness isn’t a pre-existing condition. I’ve been advised not to take no for an answer by friends and family but the simple truth of the matter is that I don’t have time right now to harass the insurance company. So, tonsillectomy is on the back-burner for now unless I continue to get sick, in which case, I’ll have to put it on a front burner where things boil instead of simmer.

I got an appointment with the GYN for further testing to do a biopsy, but the earliest appointment I could get is the last week of March. So that’s nice. 

My boss at work told me that there’s pretty much no chance of my position becoming full-time. She said it’s not that she doesn’t want me full-time, it’s just that there aren’t funds to afford it. So there’s that. She’s sending me job postings as she sees them and is keeping her ears open for any word-of-mouth opportunities, but for the most part, it seems that my career at the BMA is over in May when my contract expires. Even if the position itself continues, I won’t be able to stay in it because I need a full-time job the second I’m done with my Master’s exams. 

Still haven’t heard anything from any of the job applications I’ve sent in. Haven’t heard from any other schools besides the resounding “No thanks” of Northwestern and Boston U. Giving up the PhD dream for now since the realist in me says I need to let it go. It’s not going to happen unless I settle for something I know I won’t be satisfied with. That’s a tough life lesson to try to swallow, but I’m doing my best. My immediate concern isn’t so  much what I’m going to do in the coming years, but how to stay motivated in my Master’s program. I’ve been incredibly lazy and uncaring out of an overload of stress combined with a likely correct guess that I won’t be getting into any PhD programs. What’s the point, right? That keeps going through my mind. But whenever things get tough, I’m pretty good about gritting my teeth and pushing forward even if it seems pointless. I went down this path for a reason, dammit, and it’s going to make later obstacles easier to cross so I need to try my best to stick with it. 

I presented a paper last week at a competition that was open to all graduate students. The results of that competition will be posted this Friday, when I’ll, coincidentally, be presenting a longer version of that paper at a symposium in Tuscaloosa. It’s all good for the resume, but I’m trying not to think too much on it. If I win any money, I’ll probably put it in savings. The Friday symposium will end up being a long day, as the program starts at 10:00am and goes until after 4:00pm. That’s a lot of presentations. I’m going after lunch, which may mean that people will be tuckered out by then. That’s fine by me. 10 minutes of Q&A seems like a lot of time to fill as it is. 

I finally got in touch with the [only] German professor at UAB, who I am meeting with on Thursday to discuss the dreaded German language proficiency exam. No, I haven’t started studying. I really took too much on this semester, I think, but it’s too late in the game to try to drop anything or push anything back. I’m just going to have to go for it and hope it’s easier than GW’s language exam. Certainly the teacher will be an easier grader in comparison to the prof who graded my German exam at GW. Anyway, at least I’ll have locked in a date for that. 

I’ve got a midterm tomorrow in the only class I’m taking this semester. Once I get my grade back and assuming I do well on the exam, I’ll ask the professor if she will sit on my thesis committee. I should have asked her weeks ago, but I didn’t. I will though. Soon, soon. I don’t see much hurry as I’m sure she already has her summer travel plans booked by now, if she has plans to travel at all. My thesis proposal is in decent shape as well, though my advisor hasn’t had a chance to go through it with a red-tipped pen. I feel good having it written. That’s always Step 1. 

Still haven’t started prepping for my comprehensive exams, but in true Alexa fashion, I’m just trying to get through my immediate to-dos and I’ll worry about the ones that are still months away in the weeks to come. 

My 25th birthday is coming up as well. I feel like I should do something to mark it, something special, since it is kind of a milestone. With all my free time to think about it, of course… maybe just a picnic in the gardens. I don’t know. Plenty of time to not think about it at all! Weeks away. So much to do before April, it blows my mind. My brain is so tired, I sure hope I can push myself through this stage of my schooling. 


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