Life, Currently

July 31, 2014 § Leave a comment

We’ve made it to a month! We’ve had two fights and one vacation, all of which we got through a-okay. The fights were might fault, of course, and he’s really good at handling it. Basically, he refuses to let me mope around and be pissed off, forcing me to talk about it instead so we can move forward ASAP. Our weekend in Atlanta was a great time. I met some of his family and they seemed to really like me, so that’s a plus. He met my aunt and uncle but I haven’t heard a review from them yet. Tomorrow we’re meeting my grandmother for breakfast and then on Saturday we’ve got dinner plans on the Mountain (nickname for the family compound out in the country). We’ve exchanged keys to our apartments, though it seems kind of unnecessary since we never sleep apart. Things are very solid. I’m happy.

We have had some fairly heated discussions about his hair. Perhaps shockingly, I’ve decided to compromise on it. I told him he may have long hair but he CANNOT have the cave man beard. It’s too bad because he’s so handsome with his short hair, but I want him to be happy, so I guess I’ll just have to adjust to long hair on a man.

But more seriously, we do have some big choices coming up. We’ll hear back soon about whether he was accepted into the Master’s International program. If he’s accepted, that means he’ll be going into the Peace Corps in a year which means I’ll be going into the Peace Corps in a year. This will be complicated to swing because he has to apply through school so we have to apply separately. Peace Corps does consider couples, but only if they apply *together* but we have to apply separately because of school. What makes matters more complicated is that the entire process takes 6 months to a year before you know where you’ve been assigned, so we won’t be able to go over together at the same time since I can’t apply until I know exactly where he’s going. If it ends up that I can’t go, or am placed somewhere else, we’re going to have to break up because I’m not going to do long-distance for 27 months while he’s in a developing country changing and growing on the daily and I’m at home in stasis. He said he would worry too much about me if I were placed in a different country so he would rather I stay home. There may be some other options to join him in the country where he’s placed like long-term Habitat for Humanity volunteering but I haven’t gotten too deep into looking at that.

A lot of these wheels will get set in motion when we know if he got in or not. I absolutely want this for him. 100%. I don’t know what to do if he doesn’t get in. He’ll be devastated… We could do Peace Corps together, though, in that instance, or he could do short-term Doctors Without Borders trips. I won’t be able to go on those trips, but at least I would only be without him for a few months and not a couple of years. We’ll just have to wait and see, and thankfully we don’t have to wait long to hear the verdict about graduate school.

My job search has been fairly dismal. I’ll be bundling up to go to Starbucks this afternoon to write up quite a few job applications, but so far unemployment drags on. Jason keeps asking me “If you could have any job in the world right now, what would it be?” and gets progressively frustrated as my answer is surprisingly consistent: “I don’t know.” How can it be that I don’t have an ideal job in my brain? When I think about it, I only see a big blank space, wide open to all possibilities but empty, too. I guess that’s what happens when you spend ten years of your life devoted to a specific career but get put out with the trash every time you try to actually make it happen. Makes you pretty skittish about wanting anything specific or working towards any one direction. What job would make me happy right now? I have no fucking idea. Something creative and fast-paced, but what? I would just like to get a job and see where it takes me.

Once I get a job that pays me a decent wage, I can pursue a Certificate in Art Business from NYU, and if I get a job at UAB (which I’m trying like hell to do), I can take classes for free in Graphic Design and Marketing. These classes and the NYU certificate will equip me with some very appealing skills for today’s job market and will hopefully open up some more doors. I would really like to have my own art consulting business, something I can do on my own time and at-will, a la my parents’ self-employment. Plus Jason wants a job where he can travel the world to work on tropical diseases (his ideal job is being an epidemiologist) and I’d like to go with him on his trips, so being an art consultant would be a great way to do that if I can find a niche market for tribal and folk wares from abroad. So I guess I have some kind of end goal but it’s all very fuzzy indeed and I’m trying to gather lots of different skills and experience rather than channel everything I do in one direction. Jason’s ideal is for him to work and for me to stay home and make art. Ain’t gonna happen! If he’s going to travel, I want to go with him.

But that’s all in the future and in that unknown fantasy land that exists only in our imagination. For now, we’re both poor and struggling towards some more financially stable future. Good thing we’ve got each other. 🙂

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